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Jokes
Jul 16, 2005 13:14:07 GMT -4
Post by «Canadian» on Jul 16, 2005 13:14:07 GMT -4
All further jokes will be posted here.
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ChiYin
Full Member
huh?
Posts: 51
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Jokes
Aug 10, 2005 18:43:53 GMT -4
Post by ChiYin on Aug 10, 2005 18:43:53 GMT -4
Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at a Yankees game. Before the game began a secret service man came up to him and whispered in his ear. Bill Clinton suddenly picked up Hillary and threw her out on the field. The secret service man came running up to him and said, "Mr. President Sir, I think you misunderstood me, I said throw out the first pitch."
~
some more on the tech support:
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine.
Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my co-workers for help; they offered no new ideas.
After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly,
"Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this "yellow" construction paper?"
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Customer: "Hello? I'm trying to dial in. I installed the software okay, and it dialed fine. I could hear that. Then I could hear the two computers connecting. But then the sound all stopped, so I picked up the phone to see if they were still connected, and I got the message, 'No Carrier,' on my screen. What's wrong?"
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This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access Denied" message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his user name and password in capital letters. Tech Support: "OK, let's try once more, but use lower case letters." Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard.
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;D ;D ;D
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Jokes
Aug 10, 2005 19:05:03 GMT -4
Post by dAilydoSe on Aug 10, 2005 19:05:03 GMT -4
LOL LOL LOL LOL nice jokes emmie. Keep postin.
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Jokes
Sept 3, 2005 8:30:48 GMT -4
Post by dAilydoSe on Sept 3, 2005 8:30:48 GMT -4
1
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Jokes
Oct 12, 2005 21:59:12 GMT -4
Post by sucka on Oct 12, 2005 21:59:12 GMT -4
how do u know if a chinese guy robbed your house? 1. they did ur math homework. 2. a cat is in the oven 3. they're still backing off the driveway
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Jokes
Oct 13, 2005 9:44:46 GMT -4
Post by dAilydoSe on Oct 13, 2005 9:44:46 GMT -4
LOL.
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Jokes
Oct 13, 2005 15:45:06 GMT -4
Post by «Canadian» on Oct 13, 2005 15:45:06 GMT -4
lol #3!! #3!! LOL
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Jokes
Oct 17, 2005 22:36:26 GMT -4
Post by d on Oct 17, 2005 22:36:26 GMT -4
what do u call a black priest? HOLY SHIT
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Jokes
Oct 17, 2005 22:39:10 GMT -4
Post by sucka on Oct 17, 2005 22:39:10 GMT -4
wats the difference between a bucket of shit and a pakistan? the bucket.
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Jokes
Oct 17, 2005 22:42:06 GMT -4
Post by sucka on Oct 17, 2005 22:42:06 GMT -4
There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead competing for a race. they had to climb 100 stairs while hearing 3 jokes. The brunette laughed at the first joke and lost. The readhead laughed at the second joke and lost. At the 99th staircase, the blonde laughed. A person asked her, "why did u laugh at the last step?" the blonde said "cause i was just beginning to get the first joke"
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WooT
Full Member
Posts: 33
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Jokes
Oct 17, 2005 23:14:54 GMT -4
Post by WooT on Oct 17, 2005 23:14:54 GMT -4
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"
The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times.
"One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream."
So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes."
So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
She said, "You now have 3 wishes."
I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger."
She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!
She then asked, "What will be your second wish?"
I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, "I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. "We then made love for hours!"
Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?"
I looked at her and replied, "How about a little head?"
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Jokes
Nov 28, 2005 18:23:33 GMT -4
Post by Troublemaker613 on Nov 28, 2005 18:23:33 GMT -4
HAHA what did the chinese couple name the retarded child? SOMETHING WONG!
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