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Post by «Canadian» on Sept 22, 2004 20:59:12 GMT -4
A woman has been in a coma in a hosital for years, but dispite everything the doctors have tried nothing can be done for her.
But one day while changing the bedsheets a nurse accidently touches the womans breast and she moves slighty. She immediatly tells a doctor and the womans husband is called to the hospital.
The doctor tells the man that sometimes when errogenous zones are touched this can cause unexpected results, and maybe he should try touching different areas.
So the man touches his wifes breast and she stirs slightly, the doctor then suggests touching her below, so the man puts his hand down there and she stirs even more.
The doctor then suggests oral sex to the man, and leaves the room while it is performed.
Moments later alarms go off and the doctor rushes back into the room.
"What happened?" cries the Doctor.
"I don't know" replies the man, "I think she choked!"
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Post by «Canadian» on Sept 22, 2004 21:07:25 GMT -4
Why don't witches wear panties?
Why don't witches wear panties? Better grip on the broom.
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Post by «Canadian» on Sept 22, 2004 21:08:30 GMT -4
10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty
1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.
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Post by «Canadian» on Sept 22, 2004 21:12:19 GMT -4
60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it's cute. 3. Who circumcised you? 4. Why don't we just cuddle? 5. You know they have surgery to fix that. 6. It's more fun to look at. 7. Make it dance. 8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that. 9. Can I paint a smiley face on that? 10. It looks like a night crawler. 11. Wow, and your feet are so big. 12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger. 13. It's ok, we'll work around it. 14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim? 15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh. 16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it? 17. Oh no, a flash headache. 18. (giggle and point) 19. Can I be honest with you? 20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that. 21. Let me go get my tweezers. 22. How sweet, you brought incense. 23. This explains your car. 24. You must be a growing boy. 25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow. 26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick. 27. Are you one of those pygmies? 28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow? 29. Every heard of clearasil? 30. All right, a treasure hunt! 31. I didn't know they came that small. 32. Why is God punishing you? 33. At least this won't take long. 34. I never saw one like that before. 35. What do you call this? 36. But it still works, right? 37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting. 38. It looks so unused. 39. Do you take steroids? 40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it. 41. Maybe it looks better in natural light. 42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes? 43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident. 44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt? 45. Aww, it's hiding. 46. Are you cold? 47. If you get me real drunk first. 48. Is that an optical illusion? 49. What is that? 50. I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry. 51. Were you neutered? 52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents. 53. Does it come with an air pump? 54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality. 55. Where are the puppet strings? 56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun. 57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes. 58. Never mind, why bother. 59. Is that a second belly button? 60. Where's the rest of it?
LMAO!
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Post by hehe on Sept 23, 2004 16:17:57 GMT -4
lmao nice jokes
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Post by Blackpresident on Sept 24, 2004 0:05:47 GMT -4
lol Rez did you recieve all these coments to aquire that info?
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Post by «Canadian» on Sept 24, 2004 16:21:55 GMT -4
lmao , no they are just jokes -_- like this 1 BP A Little Testy
A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing. ''Doctor, the hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid that you're giving me too much. I've started growing hair in places that I've never grown hair before.''
The doctor reassured her, ''A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?''
''On my testicles, which is something else I want to talk to you about...,'' replied the lady. ~_~
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Post by Blackpresident on Sept 25, 2004 21:11:55 GMT -4
i thought that was leading twords ass hair....
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Post by «Canadian» on Sept 25, 2004 22:11:14 GMT -4
lol
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Post by «Canadian» on Sept 26, 2004 8:44:26 GMT -4
Cmon PPL , Post funny/sick jokes on here, keep it coming!
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Post by Neo on Sept 27, 2004 17:54:42 GMT -4
Ok if you have kids you might wanna turn away from this one. My friend tells me these every day and they're pretty sick. Q: How do you get a baby to shut up? A: Put it in a blender Q: How do you get the baby out of the blender? A: Tortilla chips Q: How do you stop a baby from falling through a hole? A: Put a spear through it's head Q: How many babies does it take to make a baby sandwich? A: It depends on how thin you slice them Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: It depends on how hard you throw them Pfft I can't remember the rest, I know theres more Yeah i almost pissed my pants when i saw him tell these to a group of girls
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Post by GOLDIMNATOR on Sept 28, 2004 23:36:30 GMT -4
[shadow=red,left,300]elephant jack[/shadow] [glow=red,2,300]Jack goes to the doctor and says "Doc I'm having trouble getting my dick erected. Can you help me?"
After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "Well the problem with you is that the muscles around the base of your dick are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you, except, if you're willing to try an experimental treatment."
Jack asks sadly, "What is this treatment?" "Well," the doctor explains, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your dick." Jack thinks about it silently then says, "Well the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, let's go for it." A few weeks after the operation Jack was given the green light to use his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening for his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city.
In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being painful. To release the pressure Jack unzipped his fly. His dick immediately sprung from his pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and then returned to his pants.
His girlfriend was stunned at first but then said with a sly smile, "That was incredible! Can you do it again?"
Jack replied with his eyes watering, "Well, I guess so, but I don't think I can fit another roll in my ass."[/glow] its funny :-D
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Post by «Canadian» on Oct 2, 2004 18:45:29 GMT -4
lol gold
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Post by «Canadian» on Oct 2, 2004 18:47:51 GMT -4
3 blondes jump off a building ... Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building? They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings. lol
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Post by «Canadian» on Oct 2, 2004 18:58:32 GMT -4
A Blonde's Brain At Work
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught." LOL
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Post by «Canadian» on Oct 2, 2004 18:59:43 GMT -4
Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"
"You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.
Im destroying blondes hehe
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Post by «Canadian» on Oct 2, 2004 19:01:17 GMT -4
Why do blondes like cars with adjustable steering wheels? Because they like more head room. ROFL ok il stop , unless asked by some1 to continue
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Post by GOLDIMNATOR on Oct 2, 2004 20:40:47 GMT -4
[glow=red,2,300]lol rez where do u get alll these jokes from.[/glow]
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Post by BloodFang on Oct 4, 2004 12:14:37 GMT -4
Another !
Rez is so fata$$ that his driver's license will said, "Picture continued on other side." ;D ;D
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Post by GOLDIMNATOR on Oct 4, 2004 15:52:30 GMT -4
[glow=red,2,300]lmao good one fakk[/glow]
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