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Post by «Canadian» on Oct 4, 2004 18:39:28 GMT -4
LOL fucker
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Post by «Canadian» on Oct 7, 2004 17:50:19 GMT -4
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a VAGlNA. What is a VAGlNA, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
"Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
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Post by «Canadian» on Oct 7, 2004 17:52:52 GMT -4
What's the difference between a blonde and a 747? Not everyone's been in a 747!
hahahaha
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Post by «Canadian» on Oct 7, 2004 17:59:06 GMT -4
This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage. Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and they make dinner plans for Saturday night.
Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks like Prohibition is coming back.
Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he can't make it through twenty minutes without either throwing up or using the bathroom. After several hours of this, he is able to stop throwing up, but he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes. He doesn't want to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to her again.
So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York City (about a 30 minute ride). They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself during the appetizers to use the bathroom. They enjoy the rest of the appetizers without interruption, but he has to go back again during the entrees.
They decide to get dessert. During dessert, our hero feels another rumbling, but doesn't want to look like a complete bathroom freak, so he holds it. After a few minutes, the rumbling subsides, but he still has a bit of gas stored up.
He decides to let this little bit of gas fly right there at the table (discreetly, of course). Unfortunately, this little bit of gas came with another little surprise. "Oh crap," he thinks (and feels). Instead of running to the bathroom right away, our hero immediately leans on the arms of his chair to keep from sitting on this surprise. He maintains this yoga position for the rest of dessert, trying to figure out what to do before his tan pants (a) start to smell, or (b) start to show stains on the outside. He quickly pays for dinner and they leave the restaurant. Oh, by the way, he is walking like a cowboy.
On the way to the train station, they pass the Gap.
Do you mind if I run in and buy a sweater that I was looking at last week?" he asks.
"No problem, I'd like to look around too," she replies. They go into the Gap. Fortunately, at the Gap, men's fashions are on the right, women's fashions are on the left. They split up.
Our hero grabs the first sweater within reach, and hurries back to the khakis. After selecting a pair that most closely resemble his current outfit, he brings both items to the register. His eyes are on his date (still on the other side of the store) to make sure that she doesn't see him buying the pants. He doesn't even want the sweater, so he says through clenched teeth (just in case his date can read lips from 40 feet away) "Just the pants." "What?" asks the Gap girl.
"Just the pants!" (Eyes still trained on his date.) Gap girl: "Oh, OK."
He pays for the pants and walks over to his date; then they leave the store. They board the train just before it leaves the station and find two seats in the middle of the car. Without sitting down, our hero excuses himself and walks to the bathroom in the back of the car. He gets to the bathroom as the train departs, and quickly rips off his pants and boxer shorts. He rolls them into a ball and throws them out the window. After cleaning himself off, he opens the Gap bag and pulls out...just the sweater.
DAMN POOR HIM
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Post by «Canadian» on Oct 8, 2004 18:21:45 GMT -4
][ ][ ][ ][][ ][ ][ ][ ][ [glow=orange,2,300]-Canadian[/glow]
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Post by «Canadian» on Oct 13, 2004 17:02:59 GMT -4
POST U F UCKING SHIT STICKS ON A LOG.
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KoReaN
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Post by KoReaN on Oct 15, 2004 13:03:12 GMT -4
how long does it take black biatch to take a poop..? answer: 9months... that's how it takes to born a child GET IT?
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Post by AgEnTScEx on Nov 2, 2004 21:06:45 GMT -4
lol korean your not funny just funny looking. yea the other day me and mah frwend korean[bf] went MCdonalds cuz we was hungry. we waited in line till it was our turn to order.
Lady at Mac:" May I take your order Sir?" Korean:" Can I have a cheese burger with no cheese?" Me:"Wtf, why don't you just order a hamburger it costs less" Koren:uhh uhh but i don't like hamburgers"
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Post by «Canadian» on Nov 3, 2004 8:52:13 GMT -4
LOLOLOLOLOL
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AvEnGeR
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Post by AvEnGeR on Nov 6, 2004 3:02:31 GMT -4
LMFAO
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ZoUrZ
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Post by ZoUrZ on Nov 6, 2004 3:04:06 GMT -4
Ok so there is 3 gay men in a jacuzzi full of steaming water. Out of no where a condom pops up outa the water. One of the mans repliy was "Alright who farted". ;D
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AvEnGeR
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Post by AvEnGeR on Nov 6, 2004 3:05:27 GMT -4
HAHA!!! LMFAO lol nice one
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Post by Neo on Nov 6, 2004 3:32:15 GMT -4
How do you get 4 gay guys to sit on the same chair? Turn it upside down
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ZoUrZ
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Post by ZoUrZ on Nov 7, 2004 18:17:24 GMT -4
The Refrigerator Joke Three men approached the gate to heaven and as the only way to get into heaven was they had to die by a tragic death. He asked the first man how he died, he said "Imagine this --I suspected my wife was having an affair and I wanted to find out the truth. I came home from work early one day to surprise her and catch her in the act. I looked all around the house to find the guy. I found ten fingers hanging onto the window sill outside. I started pounding on them until he finally let go. When he fell he landed in some bushes and he lived, so I threw the refrigerator out the window to finish him off. After all the excitement I died of a heart attack.” That is horrible, your in” said the gatekeeper. Then the gatekeeper asked the second man how he died. He said "Imagine this -- I'm minding my own business on top of my apartment building. I was replacing the shingles on the roof when I lost my grip and fell. I reached out and caught a window sill, and then some idiot started hammering on my fingertips. When I fell I landed in some bushes and lived. But then that same idiot threw his refrigerator out the window and it crushed me." "That, too, is horrible," said the gatekeeper. Then he asked the third man the same question. His reply was “OK, imagine this; I'm naked in a refrigerator..." LOL ;D
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AvEnGeR
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Post by AvEnGeR on Nov 16, 2004 10:37:44 GMT -4
Lol, That's one of the ones that makes sence to me lol
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KoReaN
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Post by KoReaN on Nov 16, 2004 12:56:07 GMT -4
these jokes cracks me up.. lol put some more plz
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Post by AgEnTScEx on Nov 18, 2004 19:05:59 GMT -4
Black JOkes Don't Mean to Be Raceist....
What did God say when he saw the first black person?
Ooops, I burnt one!
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Post by «Canadian» on Nov 18, 2004 19:14:16 GMT -4
LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
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Post by AgEnTScEx on Nov 18, 2004 22:56:00 GMT -4
Why did so many nigger soldiers get killed in Vietnam?
Every time someone yelled "Get down!" the niggers would jump up and start dancing.
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Post by AgEnTScEx on Nov 18, 2004 22:59:15 GMT -4
Why did god create orgasms?
So black people know when to stop!!! lol
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